The Push by Ashley Audrain

Realistic Fiction. Psychological Thriller. Family. 

Rating: 4.5/5

Pages: 400 (9 hrs) 

Started: 10 August 

Finished: 10 August 

Summary:

    Blythe is the descendant of long line of women who did not want to be mothers, so it's no surprise that she feels disconnected from her firstborn, Violet--unsure, exhausted, resentful of her unceasing need. Which is why Blythe is surprised at how much she loves her second child, Sam. Unlike with Violet, Blythe feels connected to Sam. She feels like his mother. But even as she cares for Sam, reminisces on her mother and grandmother's childhoods, and tries to understand what motherhood can really mean, she begins to grow more and more afraid of Violet's malicious moods. When tragedy strikes, Blythe becomes even more convinced that there is something deeply wrong with Violet. 

Thoughts: 

    I listened to this entire audiobook in one day--I kept making up more chores to do so that I could listen for a few more minutes. It was incredibly immersive and gloriously intense. I was super invested in the characters, when they were doing well and when they were making horrible choices. The style of narration fascinated me: it was narrated as if in a letter from Blythe to her husband (he, the only man and the only person not occupying the role of mother or child) was the recipient of the story, which was such an interesting choice. The interspersed chapters describing Blythe's grandmother's, mother's and own childhoods added poignant insight to the story.

    Blythe's perspective on motherhood--abuse, being forced to have children, feeling hatred toward her child, desperately wishing she did love her child--was complex and interesting, and gave a very nuanced glimpse into what it means to be a mother, and how one's mothering is impacted by the generations before you. The portion of the book that described Blythe losing Sam, with all her grief, was incredibly sad and difficult to read. It didn't bring me to tears, but it cast a sort of inner ick on my entire day while I was reading it--impressively impactful. All of the doubt surrounding Violet's potential psychopathy was also incredible. She was a baby, she was a monster, she was innocent, she was sinister--Audrain did an incredible job creating uncertainty and gaslighting both Blythe and the reader into being unsure of whether or not Violet was actually a killer. The ending was well done, very satisfying. I would highly recommend this book to anyone interested in thrillers, gender, and motherhood.