All My Rage by Sabaa Tahir

Young Adult. Realistic Fiction. Death. Forgiveness. Islam. Immigration. Loss.

Second read, with the goal of finding quotes for a school project.

Rating: 5/5

Started: 2 June 2022

Finished: 3 June 2022

Summary:

    Noor's uncle, who sacrificed his career to adopt her, is determined for her to take over his liquor store so he can go back to school, but Noor wants nothing more than to get into a college and get the hell out of Juniper, California. Salahudin's father may be an alcohol addict--though no one will say the word--but his writing and his mother, Misbah's, gentleness are enough. 

   Noor and Salahudin have been estranged for months, since the Fight, but when Misbah gets sick, they begin, tentatively, to be drawn back to each other. But when there are no good options, it's far too easy to make mistakes.

Thoughts:

    I thought this book was good the first time around, but this second read was mind-blowing. I've never found a book that comes this close to IGYTS. The writing is a little lighter on the metaphor, but it still has some excellent ones, and there were a ton of amazing similarities. There's an ostrich reference, a can't-cry-because-if-i-do-it'll-break-me moment akin to Judemageddon, a scene where a character wants to ink out a whole page like Noah in his god-gong scene, and an "I knew her the way you didn't" confrontation. There's also a poem woven through the book a lot like "How Do I Love Thee" is in IGYTS, and songs are named similarly to how Noah refers to different works of art. 

    But aside from the IGYTS-ness, the book itself is also just amazing. There are a few bad decisions, which is frustrating, but I also love the characters and their relationships. Misbah is perfect--so warm and kind. I love all the Pakistani culture included in the book, since it's not one that I'm familiar with, but it's portrayed in such a loving and familiar way that it feels like home. And the end--the end is everything. I cried the first time I read it, and then was certain I wasn't going to this time. I was wrong. I ended up sitting in a study block in my Biology class trying not to sob all over the pages. It was a good time. The forgiveness and the healing are gorgeous, but something about the twist of who is writing Misbah's story is heartbreaking. 

    I meant to just skim the book to find good quotes for my Theology/Social Justice project, but ended up reading the whole thing in two days, and I'm very glad that I did. I forgot how good second reads can be, when I don't have to stress about all the bad things that might happen, but the minutiae of the book feel new. I'm recommending this to all my friends now, and I can't wait until Sabaa Tahir publishes her next series (it's going to be a new fantasy series!!!!) , because her books just keep getting better and better.

My Theology Reflection

Injustice and Rage: An Artifact Reflection

Social justice makes its way into all aspects of life. As an avid reader, I’m in a unique position to find patterns in fiction, one of which is the neverending march toward fairness. Fantasy books often come with a component of disassembling an evil structure or defeating a tyrant. But while those concepts are relatively abstract, the justice found in realistic fiction is even more applicable to this class. All My Rage by Sabaa Tahir is a novel about the unfairness of our society, and about making amends. 

Noor's uncle, who sacrificed his career to adopt her, is determined for her to take over his liquor store so he can go back to school, but Noor wants nothing more than to get into a college and get the hell out of Juniper, California. Salahudin's father may be an alcohol addict--though no one will say the word--but his writing and his mother, Misbah's, gentleness are enough. Noor and Salahudin have been estranged for months, since the Fight, but when Misbah gets sick, they begin, tentatively, to be drawn back to each other. But when there are no good options, it's far too easy to make mistakes.

One of the first themes present in the novel is that of rest, just like we talked about on March 31st this year. Misbah, Salahudin’s mother, has kidney disease and, to stay healthy, needs both dialysis and frequent rest. However, between her husband’s serial joblessness due to alcoholism and the demanding nature of her pride and joy, the Clouds’ Rest Motel Inn, she doesn’t have any choice but to keep working. Exodus 23:12 states: “Six days do your work, but on the seventh day do not work, so that your ox and your donkey may rest, and so that the slave born in your household and the foreigner living among you may be refreshed.” I believe sufficient rest to maintain health should be one of the pillars of human rights, yet many people, especially impoverished people, are forced to sacrifice their rest and health to provide for themselves and their families.

Another important theme in the novel is poverty. Noor and Misbah are both Pakistani immigrants. Misbah moved to the US with her husband and used her life savings to purchase the Clouds’ Rest Inn Motel. As an immigrant with most of her family still living overseas, she had no one to support her when she became sick and needed medical attention. Once she died, Salahudin had to handle the loans she had taken out, which were likely substandard, like we discussed on May 5th. Similarly, Noor was taken in by her uncle, Riaz, when the rest of her family was killed in an earthquake in Pakistan. Riaz was forced to leave engineering school and open up a liquor store to have enough money to support a child. Whereas a white U.S.-born family might have enough connections to help pay for Misbah’s medical procedures and to help raise Noor. However, almost all of both characters’ relatives are still in Pakistan and thus are too far away to help. This lack of support perpetuates racial poverty. 

Punitive Justice and the School-to-Prison pipeline are also both present in the novel. When Salahudin turned to illegally selling drugs to keep the Cloud’s Rest Inn Motel out of the hands of the bank, he understood the gravity of the potential consequences, but the way he saw it, he had no choice. When he was caught, he was violently interrogated and put in a jail cell. Then, after his trial, he was sent to federal prison. His crime was illegal–he was aware of it. Through dealing, he hurt people–one of his clients almost overdosed. But he didn’t feel that he had a choice. He was a scared kid with an alcoholic father who felt sad, alone, and out of options, and he was put in jail and given a permanent record– his future was taken away from him. For the rest of his life, he will not only have to work through the trauma of his experiences, but will also struggle to find employment that doesn’t discriminate against him because of his criminal record. If the California court he was processed through had used a system of restorative justice, though, rather than punitive, his future would look very different. Perhaps he would be able to meet with the families of those he had dealt to, and start the process of healing both for himself and them. Perhaps he would be given the opportunity to use his gift for writing to bring more help and understanding into the world. Perhaps he even would have been able to engage in some form of transformative justice, working with the court system to find new systems and solutions for drug cases. Salahudin wasn’t given the opportunity to participate in restorative justice. He was sent to jail, and I can’t help but think of how unfair that is. He was given an impossible situation and then punished for it. The school-to-prison pipeline was more visible in Noor’s story. Noor was a high-achieving, kind, brilliant student. She worked hard in school, but when she finally violently confronted a girl who had been disgustingly racist for years, she was immediately labeled a criminal, and if not for the intervention of Salahudin, she would have gone to jail for crimes that weren’t even hers. 

Forgiveness is imperative in the pursuit of justice, and to achieve forgiveness, one must use their voice and apologize. According to the UN Mediation Website, “the healing effect of an apology through restoration of trust, caring and respect can best be achieved when one has a chance to clearly define the harmful behaviour, apologize and indicate how future misunderstandings can be avoided.” In the novel, Salahudin had to apologize genuinely to Noor for implicating her in his drug dealing. He had to talk to Noor again and again to start the process of forgiveness. Noor didn’t forgive Salahudin for a long time, but Salahudin needed to start speaking in order to convince her. This reminded me of Amanda Gorman’s TedTalk on using one’s voice–to make change, one must speak. And Salahudin did. Not only did he work to repair his relationship with Noor, but he also helped his mother find forgiveness from her grave. Misbah had known that Noor’s uncle was abusive for a little while before her death, but hadn’t been able to do anything about it. Her final word was “forgive.” By writing everything he knew about her story, Salahudin gave her the means for being forgiven. 

Art reflects life, and in Sabaa Tahir’s novel All My Rage, motifs of justice are clearly expressed. The novel handles intense themes, including sexual assault, racism, abuse, illness, and poverty. But it also has themes of hope. Though there aren’t any systems that facilitate change for good, characters strive to achieve forgiveness through apology and cycle-breaking. Many mistakes are made throughout the novel, but the air of hope and absolution that the book ends on has a lot to teach us. 

Word:

    Perfidy (n) untrustworthiness; deceitfulness.